You check out girls too

by the dreamer

I kept looking at my co-workers eyes, watching her pupils with scrutiny to see if they would dilate. And they did. And I would answer her blank minded at the things she would tell me. And I would simply stare at her hazel green eyes, lost in oblivion, ignoring what she was telling me and admiring her focus. Sometimes I think she would do the same. I would speak to her, waiting for a response, telling her things that are usually told in trifle moments, but she too would nod and wait for me to elaborate on more things. I would catch her alone and the excitement would spring up. I was always looking forward to these moments because we would jokingly play about some things. I would put my hands on her phone telling her to get back to work playfully and I would grab her hand for some moments and feel the violent butterflies riot in my stomachs knot. I know she feels the same way, when she has her hands on the clipboard she would not mind touching my hand either. This other time I had put her debit card in her pocket and patted at her thigh wondering what she would do. She simply pretended nothing happened. I remember how she would flaunt her hair covering her face from me as she would write her daily reports, and I would just admire her wavy black hair, it was an elegant feature of her. She has not had a man in many years and im wondering why she hasn’t risked anything with me. I visit her from time to time at her place, and her son. And I take my son and we both enjoy each others company. I think of many things when I am there, and I behave very well mind you. I would not provoke such things at her home, unless she would be ready. A sign would be helpful but I guess that’s why I had been a virgin all throughout high school, I was just a too damn nice of a guy.